Snaps For Exercise!

Hi readers, I hope you’re all having a lovely evening. Something weird, and altogether disturbing has been happening this past week – I FEEL GREAT! I don’t mean the regular kind of great where you’ve had 6 tequila shooters and are dancing on a table like an idiot without a care in the world. I’m talking an honest to God, natural high… Different…

For some reason, my body has decided that this is the week it’s going to surrender and actually get into this whole exercise thing. As a wise woman once said:

Well, in this case only the first half applies. Scratch that, I didn’t shoot any husbands this week – hurrah! It started about Wednesday, after my gym session. I had taken another shot at those gruelling intervals, but this time I didn’t feel like vomiting, fainting, or drinking copiously afterwards. Instead of the usual pains and groaning, I felt full of beans. Then on Thursday I had a real twilight zone moment – I finished work and left the office with a spring in my step, practically skipping to the train station, and thought to myself ‘Wow, I can’t wait to get to the gym!’’ Okay, STOP the music.

What

The

Fuck

No, really – where did that come from? *looks around for signs of foul play*. I.. I can’t believe it. The part of my brain that’s always going on about healthy eating must have hired a new guy behind my back – the motivation to exercise guy! HOW DID HE GET A SECURITY PASS?! Well we’re not paying him, he can go on a six month probation and then we’ll see.

Not only have my energy levels sky-rocketed, but I feel more motivated in general. Do you know what I did this weekend? Take a guess. I cleaned out the kitchen cupboards, spray n wiped the bejeezus out of them, then rearranged everything and put it back. We have 2 spare shelves now. RIDICULOUS!

Weight: 116.3kg

Muscle percentage: 37.9%

Fat percentage: 40.9%

Goal progress: 27.9%

Ladies and gentlemen, we have cracked the quarter way milestone! Two more kilos and I’ll be a third of the way to my goal weight, and further along this crazy path than I’ve been before. Another side effect of the energy I’ve had is that I got all experimental in the gym. Wow, that could go so many ways…. This week I tried it all – treadmill, bike, cross trainer, weights, stretches; I even did some *shudder* crunches. Luckily, I then discovered that my gym has this strange stand thing with handles where you hold on with your arms at 90 degree angles like you’re driving. You then lift your legs up to your chest – I much prefer this to sit ups.

Fingers crossed this is not a clever passive aggressive technique that my body is pulling, whereby it plans to raise my hopes then pull the motivational rug out from under me. I guess only time will tell.

Intervals - The Devil's Nectar

Alright, so you’ll all be totally shocked to hear that I did not exercise each morning this week. As Iago once said (Disney, not Shakespeare): “Oh, THERE’S a big surprise. That’s an incredible- I think I’m gonna have a heart attack and DIE from not surprise.” I only managed it one morning, and that was on the weekend. Bleugh. As self-punishment, I decided to do something that I have been putting off. This evening, I tried running intervals for the first time. Holy. Shit. I mean, HOLY shit.

For those of you unfamiliar with the concept, this is where you alternate speeds between walking/jogging and running/sprinting. I did two minutes fast walking, one minute running, two minutes fast walking, two minutes running. Wash, rinse, repeat for half an hour. Finished up with 10 minutes of moderate walking to cool down. This method is supposed to be extremely effective. Yeah, effective in making me feel like this:

Now, these numbers are still from Sunday, even though I’ve been slack and haven’t posted until Tuesday:

Weight: 118.2kg

Muscle percentage: 38.4%

Fat percentage: 38.4%

Goal progress: 23.5%

That’s more like it. None of this no-movement-on-the-scales crap like last week. Am going to keep doing the intervals this week and see if the rumours are true. My body is not liking me right now, but hey – price you pay, right? Now if you’ll excuse me, I think I’m gonna go hurl…

Food Fail

Ah, bugger. Alas, I lost no weight this week, readers.

Weight: 119.8kg

Muscle percentage: 38.8%

Fat percentage: 36.9%

Goal progress: 19.8%

I think I can attribute this almost entirely to my nutritional habits of late. I still exercised every day for an hour, but the stuff that was going in was far worse than last week! Market trends saw a spike in pizza and alcohol consumption, culminating in a peak on Sunday in the form of Yum Cha and beer. Yikes! You know what though? It was pretty awesome, and I don’t apologise for it. I am almost certain that the increase in exercise made me automatically crave bad food, and I may have been a bit too lax in my indulgence of these cravings.

I am going to ATTEMPT (note the use of the word ‘attempt’) some morning exercise this week. It’ll be early to bed tonight, and early to gym tomorrow. God help me. I hate morning exercise. I am not a morning person in the slightest. My brain doesn’t even begin to function properly until about 10:30am.

A question for the group! What forms of exercise do you like the least? SUB-question – do you force yourself to do them, or avoid them entirely? Am beginning to wonder if that’s a key element….

Runnin', runnin' and runnin', runnin'

Hey everybody, hope you’ve all had a great first week of 2012. If the Mayans were right, it’s all downhill from here, so enjoy it while you can. For my first week back into fitness training, I decided not to go too overboard, and stuck to one simple form of exercise – the humble treadmill. Now, Treaddy Freddy and I have had our differences – mostly due to the fact that I find the treadmill INCREDIBLY BORING. In all honesty, if I had a party I would probably conveniently forget to invite it. This week, however, I had a secret weapon. One that I thought I would never, ever use. If you will allow me to digress for a moment; for Christmas, I received a Kindle.

I have always been the loudest anti-Kindle advocate, staunchly upholding the view that it will never replace books. Who would have thought that the ledge on the front of the treadmill appears magically to be precisely Kindle-sized? I took it with my on my first night and, being engrossed as I was in my book, before I knew it I had been going for an hour and had burnt 700 calories! (The kindle helpfully blocks the display with all the flashing numbers). Fancy that!
So every day this week, that has been my exercise. I haven’t drastically altered my eating patterns yet, one thing at a time. I did make a conscious effort to cut out sugar, and to eat smaller meals throughout the day instead of large infrequent ones. Now, drumroll please:

Weight: 119.8kg

Muscle percentage: 39.6%

Fat percentage: 34.1%

Goal progress: 19.8%

Aw yeah! What a great incentive my first week back – lost 2.4kg, and body fat is down by 8.4%. Now as you may be aware, the body fat calculator on the scales is always a bit dodgy, but hey it’s down, right? Earlier in the week, I did the thing you’re never supposed to do, which is weigh yourself every day. This will always end in tears, especially if you’ve never exercised before, or are coming back to it after a cessation. First, the scales will drop due to the dehydration you initially experience. Then, after the body rights itself and the numbers go up again, you can get upset and lose hope. My advice to anyone who’s trying to lose weight is to weigh oneself once a week on the same day, around the same time.

So guys, this week I’m going to keep reading away on the treadmill and see how far it gets me. I think for the first jolt back into it, that’ll be sufficient for now.

It's Baaa-aaaack!

Hello! Why readers, how the hell are you? Clearly you thought you’d heard the last of me. Even I did. HOWEVER, the time has come to pick up where we left off, and try again. As I’ve made a lot of new friends in the past 5 months, many people reading this will be wondering what the hell I’m going on about. Never fear, read back and you’ll discover that I am getting back to basics with my weight loss plan. Speaking of where we left off, this is where I was in August:

Weight: 116.2kg
Muscle percentage: 38.1%
Fat percentage: 44.5%
Goal progress: 28.1%

This is where I am now. *Cringes while typing*

Weight: 122.2kg
Muscle percentage: 37.4%
Fat percentage: 42.5%
Goal progress: 14.3%

Wait…. What?! Ok, so I’ve put on 6kg - this is not unexpected, and could be much worse. However, muscle percentage has shifted by less than 1% and my fat percentage has gone down…. Bizarre. So that y'all don't have to scroll back if you don't want to, the goals here are 85kg, and less than 18% body fat. Most of you will be rolling your eyes thinking that this is a new year’s resolution that’s going to crash and burn, and perhaps you’re right. Only one way to find out!

Game changers – ok, so around my birthday I did take up smoking again. I struggled with it for a while, even read the book again with mild success. What’s that thing that Marshall from How I Met Your Mother always says to preface such statements? Oh yeah – SWEEPING DECLARATION!!!! – Today I smoke my last cigarette. I have also purchased a sleep machine, which has been working wonders for my sleepapnoea. Check it, I get to sleep with this on every night:

Sexy, right? :-/

I won’t lie, it’s kinda shit to climb into bed and strap a mask to your face each night, but hey – it seems to be working, and I have much more energy than I used to.

Stay tuned for next week’s adventures!