Tightening the belt

Readers, these are exciting times! About halfway through this week, I realised that while walking around the office, I had to keep pulling my pants back up (not all the way up, you dirty minded people). It took me a while to notice, because it’s not exactly familiar territory for me. At first, it didn’t occur to me to do anything about it except to continue to stick my thumbs into my waistband, and hike it on up. Then I had a crazy idea – I did my belt up a notch tighter! What a novel feeling! I was walking on air for the rest of the day.

Looks like it’s starting to work! On Monday morning I also had a bit of an epiphany while ordering my morning coffee from my ridiculously good looking barista – I… um… mmm hot barista… what? Oh right – I had spent all of last week getting cappuccinos – BIG no no. So this week I’ve been getting black coffee without sugar. And now, for the reveal:

Weight: 125.1kg

Muscle percentage: 37.8%

Fat percentage: 40.1%

So I’m down 2.7kg and 3.6% body fat this week – hell yeah! Bits are falling off me! You’ll all be pleased to know that I didn’t go crazy on my day off this week. I DID indulge in my biggest food weakness – McDonald’s. This was no ordinary visit to the golden arches though. Generally I’ll order about five burgers, two of which will be my favourite, the double quarter pounder. I managed to satisfy my craving with a quarter pounder meal. It tasted amazing. Since this week I still wasn’t up to the vegetable stage of the diet, I found myself on the morning of my day off thinking 'Woohoo, salad!' It was a strange moment. Like when you’re at a great party and the guy in the corner says something totally out of left field. The music inexplicably stops, people stare, it’s all very awkward.

The diet takes a turn starting tomorrow, as I’m allowed to start including vegetables with my mountains of protein. There are definitely exceptions here – no potato, pumpkin, corn, carrot, among other things. As a general rule, you avoid the starchy ones. If anyone is considering jumping on this diet bandwagon, let me know and I’ll send you an email with all the rules. The first rule of diet club is you do not talk about diet club…. I noticed this week that I seem to be naturally walking a bit faster than usual. I’m also getting out of breath less. Speaking of which – starting in June, I’m going for the trifecta: diet, no alcohol except in moderation on my day off (come on guys, I’m not a nun), and NO CIGARETTES. Now THIS should be interesting. The last bastion of my unhealthy lifestyle is going to crumble like a cheap cookie in a fat kid’s chubby little fist. I’m not going to lie; it’s going to be very hard. Food, I can change. Booze, I can avoid. Cigarettes…. Well, let’s just see how I go.