Introduction - the man behind the gut

Welcome, readers. This blog is for all those people out there who, like me, are struggling with weight loss. For the past 4 years, I've been slowly piling on the pounds. Whenever I weighed myself I would shrug and think 'Well, it's not THAT much more than the last time.' It took a couple of reality checks to shake me into gear. The scariest one of these was when I went to my doctor about a constantly upset stomach. She asked a bunch of random questions, and then told me to book in a glucose tolerance test (GTT). Apparently, she thought I might have type 2 diabetes. 'Diabetes?!' I thought, 'That can't be right. Diabetes (well, type 2 diabetes) only happens to people who don't take care of themselves!!' Then I had a sobering realisation - I couldn't remember the last time I'd done any exercise, I had drank nearly every night of the past week, the night before last I'd had 2 double quarter pounders for dinner, and I'd just gone out and bought new jeans two sizes bigger.

Shit just got serious.

So I went for my GTT, and thankfully the results showed that I wasn’t even pre-diabetic – a stage where you don’t have full blown diabetes, but your body is showing signs of the beginning of insulin resistance. As you’ll come to find out, I can be a bit dramatic – so I took the results of my test as a form of near-death experience. I figured that if I didn’t do something soon, I would find myself on a slippery slope. When I thought more closely about it, my weight was already affecting many areas of my life. I have sleepapnoea, which is a syndrome where you don’t get enough oxygen while you’re asleep. To prevent yourself from suffocating, your body’s reaction is to wake you up many times a night. The more weight I put on, the worse it got. Over the past few months I’d had several arguments with my then partner over my health, and endured comments from family and friends – all trying to be helpful, some with a big dose of tough love thrown in as well. I sweat profusely, which is clearly not good for my social life, and now that I’m recently single again, I’m finding it mortifying even considering getting back into the dating arena. When I imagine the possibility of getting undressed in front of someone new, my mind tells me to think about something else, and storms off in a huff. To top it off, last year I also had the incredibly embarrassing experience of walking into a designer clothing store, and not fitting into ANYTHING in the whole place. Cue the movie montage ending with me silently sobbing in the change rooms, surrounded by discarded clothing…

So THAT’S IT.

I am going to kick some serious butt, and start losing weight NOW. Not next week, not when I’m in the mood to go to the gym (which is never), but NOW. My first step is going to be a diet that a friend of mine has been on recently, and swears by. He lost 4kg in the first week, and the person who put him onto it has lost a total of 40kg. This is just the kind of thing I need. It’s a protein based diet:

Six small meals a day, with 150g of protein for each one. No sugar or carbs, so fruit, bread, pasta, vegetables, juice, milk, yoghurt, nuts and cereals are all out. One day a week, you can eat whatever you want. It’s your day off. In the second week you can introduce vegetables, but not starchy ones like potatoes, corn or beet root. In the third week, you can add either 1 piece of wholemeal toast, or 1 cup of rice per day. So, for my first day on the diet I have steamed some lean chicken thigh fillets, hard boiled some eggs, and I have some cottage cheese as well. I will be eating a combination of these spread out through the day as suggested. I’ve also been told that a Monday is the best day to start this kind of thing. Ha - stay tuned to see how this goes down...
I also belong to a gym, so I will be ACTUALLY USING said membership, starting with 3 times per week. I have a panicky sort of desire to start going every day right away, but I know that if I do that, I’ll just end up hurting myself. So to start off with, 3 times a week, and I’ll do more as I get into it.

Now, for the stats. Readers, I know these numbers may shock you, or cause you to run away screaming, but I’m going to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the lard-ridden truth. I went out and bought myself one of those fancy sets of scales that tells you everything from your weight to how many children you’re going to have. After I figured out how to turn them on, and then subsequently, once I’d figured out how to program them, this is what they said to me -

“One at a time, please.”

…. Jokes. What they really said was -

Weight: 128.4kg

Fat percentage: 44.8%

Muscle percentage: 36.7%

I stared down at the scales in astonishment, waiting for them to burst out laughing and say ‘Naaaw, just kidding – here’s your real numbers.’ But they didn’t. They flashed the numbers repeatedly, like a failed exam mark, until I stepped off the scales. The blaring siren may have just been in my head, or possibly outside my window, as I live on a main road. 44.8% body fat!! To put that into context for you, an average male is supposed to be under 19% to be considered a healthy weight. Nearly HALF of what I see in the mirror each morning is blubber. For those of you who haven’t just done the maths in your head, that means I’m carrying around 57.5kg of pure, artery clogging fat. I have friends who freaking WEIGH 57.5kg!!!

Now you know my starting point. I also have an endpoint, a goal that I hope to reach and maintain.

Weight: 85kg

Fat percentage: 18% or less

I don’t know much about average muscle percentages, so will do some research and get back to you on that one.

Aside from the actual numbers, there is another benchmark that I have set – to fit into my Black Shirt. Everyone has something like it – an article of clothing that they love, and look amazing in when they are their ideal weight. Here is a picture of me, wearing said shirt. This was nearly 6 years ago.

For contrast’s sake, here is a picture of me now.

Crazy, huh? So that’s it for now. I hope you enjoy reading about my adventures over the next couple of months. Tips and comments are of course appreciated, or if you want to join in as well and hopefully lose some extra weight, be my guest. The more, the merrier! I will be doing my weigh in once a week and updating the blog after that, but there may be random posts here and there if something really interesting occurs. Or, more likely, if I fall spectacularly off the wagon and need to tell you all about it.